Frogs in a Bucket
Why you shouldn't help people who don't want to help themselves
Have you ever tried to help someone who has:
or health issues?
You spend your time & energy listening, being supportive, and telling them what’s worked for you. Hopefully motivating them to take action, to improve their situation.
Then - they do nothing.
They’ve wasted everyone's time.
I used to get very frustrated by this. Because, inevitably, you end up watching a ‘car crash in slow motion’.
You want the best for the people you love and it’s hard to watch them suffer through a problem that you can fix. A problem you’ve already given them a solution to.
But you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
Life isn’t a conveyor belt, where you get on at one end and gain knowledge & experience until you die.
Instead, we are all frogs in a bucket.
We don’t improve as a consequence of time. It’s a choice.
If you decide, you can jump out to the next bucket, the next level — but your froggy friend can’t be pushed.
They can only jump when they want to jump.
You can share knowledge, facts & reasoning with them, but it’s only depleting your energy.
It’s only going to frustrate you when they complain about their bucket, but still don’t jump.
You see, most people don't want solutions. They just want sympathy for their problems — and your ability to help people is a limited resource, so you need to save it for those who want to use it.