Stop Asking For a Quick Call
Why this marketing trend needs to die
Why this marketing trend needs to die
Room 101 is a fictional room where you and I can pretend to banish all of our pet hates. Once sent to the room, they cease to exist, unable to escape.
Today, I’m banishing anyone who tries to sell you a product by asking for a “quick *insert minutes* call”. It is, undoubtedly the most arrogant CTA (call to action) of any marketing or sales representative.
There’s no such thing as a quick 30-minute call. The very presence of the number 30 contradicts the notion of it ever being quick.
So why then, does every cold email end with the same drab line?
“I’d love to tell you all about it. Let me know when you’re free for a quick 30-minute call?”
Why This Trend Deserves to Die
Now wishing death on a tactic is fine, it’s not anthropomorphic and thus can’t be a crime.
The reason I feel so harshly about it is how it’s introduced. If I seek out the service, then a quick call is helpful, but often the offer comes from a freezing-cold email that slopes into your inbox like a creep on a dancefloor.
Subject: “Your website is losing $500 a day”.
You open the email only to find some jargon regarding dynamic customer flow and relationship optimization structures being broken again if anyone even knows what that means.
No matter, Jason/Jerry/Jenna/Hazel has the answer — and they’ll give it to you.
“For how much?” you wonder.
Well, the price isn’t discussed in the email because they tailor prices based on dynamic customer metrics like turnover, stupidity, gullibility, and blind-interest. It’s all custom coded by their onboarding team.
Your only way to find out if it’s actually going to help your business is to wrap up 30 minutes of your already busy day and throw it down the drain via their Calendly link.
In my eight years of being professionally obliged to take these calls, I’ve signed up for three services, two of which have since been canceled. That's at least 100 hours lost, which I’ll never get back.
Have you had any better results?
What They Should Say Instead
This is how I’d structure a cold email CTA.
Our software helps improve abandoned cart rates for huge businesses like Nike, ASOS & Restoration Hardware. We think it can help *insert their business name* too.
Now I know you’re a busy person and I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but I think this could be mutually beneficial. Just spend 20 seconds answering these 3 questions. 1 word answers are fine.
1. What’s your abandoned cart rate?
2. How many unique visitors do you have per month?
3. Do you have any other software that does ‘x’ or would this be a first?
If I think it’s a good fit based on your answers, I’ll get back to you. If I don’t think I can help you improve and make significant revenue gains, I won’t waste either of our time.
Our pricing is 1.5% commission on each conversion we save, so we only get paid when our software is working to make you money. Win-win.
Have an awesome day,
That, for me, turns a cold email into a raw, inviting one.
It’s simple to understand
They have credibility for the big brands that trust their service already
They don’t expect my time
They give me their pricing structure
They aren’t desperate to have me as a client, it has to be mutually beneficial
Remember, asking for quick calls and pressure selling won’t get you quality clients, it’ll only get you ignored.
So today, with glee, I’m taking it upon myself to cement that we’re officially burying the idea of a “quick call to tell you all about our features”. It’s gone, laid to rest, and shouldn’t ever be resurrected.
From here on out, we’re in for a brighter future and an abundance of free time. What will you do with all the minutes you’re winning back?